


Flashes

by Taliesin_niseilaT



Series: Flashes [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU after 3x06, Domestic, Drama, M/M, Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:06:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8685157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliesin_niseilaT/pseuds/Taliesin_niseilaT
Summary: ‘Being sworn enemies because of a past Barry doesn’t even remember seems like a complete waste of time.’ So Julian and Barry build a life together.





	1. I.

F L A S H E S

 

I.

 

Barry asks Julian out every week after their first drink. He can’t help himself. Being sworn enemies because of a past Barry doesn’t even remember seems like a complete waste of time. And the night Julian opens up to him about not meeting his family’s expectations, all lost and vulnerable, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to ask him out for a drink.

 

(Well – four drinks at a bar near the precinct, then a late-night slice of pizza, and then Barry walks Julian home. The Englishman is pleasantly buzzed and Barry plays along so Julian doesn’t feel alone.)

 

The second week Julian tells him he has a girlfriend. Barry thinks – hopes – it’s a lie, though he’s not sure why it would be. His own relationship with Iris is disintegrating as they speak. It was a step forward they should never have taken and now he fears their friendship and, well, brother-sister bond will break when they do.

 

But all Barry can think about at night are Julian’s beautiful blue eyes, so he asks him out to dinner. It would seem this is the point where Julian realizes Barry means ‘as a date’. He blushes, sort of, and says he likes Chinese, and Barry says ‘Is that a yes?’

‘Yes, yes,’ Julian mutters before turning on his heels and leaving the lab for the next half hour. Barry smiles as he watches Julian walk away.

 

(It’s starting to feel like cheating on Iris, now.)

 

The Chinese restaurant is lovely and they spend the first half hour mocking the candlelight romance atmosphere before being swept up in the moment and holding hands over the table. One second lasts an eternity when they are lost in each other’s eyes, before Barry snaps out of it and pulls his hand away.

 

(What the fuck is even going on here?)

 

Iris finally breaks up with Barry when he announces his third night out with Julian.

‘I can’t do this,’ she says, ‘I can’t watch you fall in love with someone else while we’re together.’

‘I’m not,’ Barry tries, ‘We’re just friends.’

‘Barry,’ is all Iris says, throwing him a stern look before she walks out for good.

 

It’s better, then, because now Barry doesn’t have to feel guilty about Julian anymore.

 

(He asks about the girlfriend, once. Julian glares at him. ‘I broke up with her before our first dinner date, Allen. _I_ wasn’t two-timing anyone.’ Barry concedes, ‘Touché.’)

 

Barry goes over to Julian’s apartment to watch a movie. It’s a nice place to live, bright and roomy, though not quite what Barry expected.

Julian’s way ahead of him, as usual. ‘You thought I’d live in a posh mansion, didn’t you?’

‘Well. Sort of?’

‘Too bad, Allen. If you’re in this for the money you’re out of luck.’

Barry looks hurt for a moment but latches on to the single word that matters to him.

‘What is _this,_ exactly?’

Julian steps closer to him, holds Barry’s eyes, then his hand, and kisses him. Barry melts into the kiss and it’s over much too soon.

‘I don’t care whether you’ve got money or not,’ Barry says after they pull apart and Julian laughs. ‘I know, Barry. Of course I know that.’

 

They settle down on the couch, shoulder to shoulder, fingers tangling together on Julian’s thigh, and make it through nearly half of the movie before they’re kissing again, longer now. Better, too. Barry’s hands are everywhere at once. Julian keeps making these hot little noises into Barry’s mouth and this is probably a very bad idea but _fuck that_ , he’s wanted Julian for months now and –

 

‘You’re joking,’ Julian groans when Barry pulls away to answer his phone.

 

Apparently, Barry is not joking, because he makes up some pathetic excuse and leaves Julian way too turned on to go to sleep.

 

All too soon, gossip about the two CSIs thrives at the precinct and Barry watches Julian blow it off with a casual ‘Allen? I hate that guy,’ and then a wink in his direction.

 

_This is real,_ Barry thinks. He doesn’t know what it is, exactly, but it’s something now, and that means he’s gonna have to own up to the whole superhero-by-night thing. Except of course, Julian being Julian, he’s figured it out weeks ago so when Barry confesses his reaction is just a raised eyebrow and ‘No shit, Sherlock,’ and that’s that. Julian’s expression softens when he keeps looking at Barry and he says, ‘I’m glad you told me, though. And I promise not to spill to the five people in Central City who don’t know yet.’

 

Barry rolls his eyes. ‘OK, smartass, it’s at least ten people.’

 

‘They always thought I was gay,’ Barry says one day with his head on Julian’s chest.

‘Who did?’

‘Bullies at school. Guess they were right.’

(Barry’s in a mood. Julian can tell.)

‘Does it matter?’ Julian says, ‘What they thought?’

‘Yes, because all they saw was a sad, weak kid.’

‘But now you’re the hero of this city. I’m just saying, Barry. Things change.’

Barry fidgets with a paperclip he found in his pocket earlier. ‘I know. But sometimes I feel like I’m still that kid.’

‘That might never go away,’ Julian says quietly, and tightens his arms around Barry.

 

Barry goes up against one meta who’s done the research. He knows who the Flash is, he knows Barry and Julian are dating. He kidnaps Julian and the team treats it like par for the course because it’s happened to all of them. Barry rants and rages and searches the city like a madman. Joe tries to calm him down but Barry can’t concentrate on anything except for an image of Julian, hurt and broken, dead, and it spurs him on. He never stops to sleep and finds his boyfriend on the third day. Cisco and Caitlin come out with him and it takes half an hour of persuasion to convince him not to kill the unconscious meta.

 

(In the end it’s Julian’s desperate, whispered ‘Barry,’ that does it.)


	2. II.

II.

 

Julian is exhausted and traumatised but otherwise unharmed. Barry takes him home and they sleep for days, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

 

At some point during this time, Barry lets himself dream of life beyond the Flash. He imagines a life where his nearest and dearest won’t keep ending up as victims or developing superpowers of their own. In a year or so if they’re still together – and it seems like they will be, Barry thinks, brushing a strand of blond hair out of Julian’s eyes – they might get a place of their own. A suburban house with a white picket fence, something silly like that. Maybe they’ll feel safe there.

 

(Deep down, Barry knows he may never be safe. Hasn’t been since the day his mother was murdered and his father took the fall for it.)

 

He hopes Julian can have all the time he needs to heal. More than enough people have got caught up in Barry’s heroics and screw-ups. He needed Julian to be the exception, the one person in the know who wouldn’t need hours and days of therapy to deal with the consequences of being in Barry’s inner circle.

 

‘But now I fucked up your life like I did with all the others,’ he says to Julian, who’s still waking up. ‘Cut it out, Allen,’ he replies with a touch of his old snark, ‘that Green Arrow guy is much better at self-loathing.’ Barry laughs and then they’re kissing deeply, desperately, and since they’re already in Julian’s bed it takes them very little effort to strip off each other’s pyjamas. Julian is all over Barry, leaving a burning trail of kisses down his body. Barry arches up to feel more of Julian’s mouth on his skin. ‘Julian,’ he gasps, ‘I love you.’

Julian stills for a moment, breathes deeply. ‘I love you too, Barry.’ It’s the first time they’ve said it, the first time they’ve gotten naked together. Barry’s heart hammers in a way that has nothing to do with his powers. It’s oddly quiet in the wake of their confession and all they can hear is the storm raging outside as they look at each other.

‘This is probably not the best time to mention I’ve never had sex with a man before,’ Barry says eventually. ‘I’d wondered,’ Julian admits, ‘Don’t worry about it though. There are lots of things we can do.’

‘Yeah?’ Barry says, biting his lip, nearly breathless, ‘Show me.’

And so Julian does, uses his hands and mouth until Barry chokes out his name.

‘Fuck,’ Julian says afterwards. ‘Yeah,’ Barry agrees, ‘Fuck.’

 

Barry would be happy to stay at Julian’s for weeks, but duty calls. He has to go back to work when Joe runs out of excuses for his absence. Julian is on sick leave for a week but being abducted and held against your will for three days doesn’t warrant any more than that in Central City. It feels weird to sleep apart now, and though they both agree it would be crazy to move in together after only a couple of months, Barry sleeps in Julian’s bed more often than not. Cisco’s probably glad to have his flat back to himself most nights.

 

(Barry gradually leaves more and more of his belongings at Julian’s. And having superspeed doesn’t mean he’s going to do all the chores around the apartment, no thank you. But he helps out a lot.)

 

Sometimes they take a break in their lab just to talk. Sometimes Julian surprises Barry.

‘You know how to _dance?_ ’ Barry’s pretty shocked, ‘Like a waltz and a tango?’

‘Yes,’ Julian says, ‘British heir, remember? Put on some music, I’ll show you.’

‘No way, I don’t dance –’ But Julian’s already grabbed his hand and swept him off his feet like Barry’s some fairytale prince.

‘Julian, this is ridiculous,’ he says, but he’s laughing and trying to follow Julian’s footsteps. Barry’s clumsy and somehow not _fast enough_ to dance, but it’s worth trying just for the smile on Julian’s face. At least until Joe comes in and they break apart, both flushed and out of breath. Joe is grinning. ‘Hey Barry, remember when you’d always say –’

‘I hate that guy,’ Barry says fondly. Julian laughs, pulling his boyfriend close.

‘Well, I’m afraid we’ve got another meta on our hands so I can’t help but interrupt.’

‘They do have terrible timing,’ Julian says, ‘Can’t they see I’m teaching my man to dance?’

Joe hasn’t seen either of them this happy in a long time.

 

(Barry can’t remember ever feeling this strongly about someone. Julian is under his skin and in his veins. It would be a recipe for disaster if he wasn’t so sure Julian feels the same.)

 

They celebrate Christmas at Joe’s house with Iris and Wally. Barry’s been keeping Iris and Julian apart to avoid awkward situations but now they’ve been together for three months so it feels like a good time to see how this works out. Not too bad, it would seem. Julian asks Iris about her job and she gets him to talk about England. Iris rolls her eyes when she sees Barry reaching out to take Julian’s hand but stopping halfway there.

‘You can touch him, you know. I’m fine, really.’ And Iris really does look fine with it. Barry’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be this cool about essentially being cheated on.

 

(Julian gift-wraps the key to his flat and gives it to Barry for Christmas. Barry is _quite chuffed._ )

 

They get in a serious fight just before New Year. It starts with a stupid game of naming their New Year’s resolutions. Barry says he’ll eat healthier, Julian says he’ll sleep more. They both know they won’t stick to these resolutions.

‘I vow to keep you safe,’ Barry suddenly says, seriously.

‘Keep me – what?’

‘I know I’ve put you at risk by being with you and obviously I failed to keep you safe.’ Of all the pompous things to say... Julian has military training. If there’s one thing he doesn’t need it’s an overprotective boyfriend. He hasn’t been nasty to Barry in a long time but he’s about to start again.

‘Did it ever occur to you that I wouldn’t need to be _kept safe_ if you didn’t have such a dangerous lifestyle?’

‘ _Lifestyle?_ I protect this city!’

‘Yeah, and what do you get out of it, Barry? Just a whole lot of pain and death.’

Their conflict escalates and eventually they go cool off in different rooms. Half an hour later Julian finds Barry in the bathroom and apologises.

 

Barry responds by pinning him to the wall and kissing him harshly. Julian’s immediately into it. He hasn’t met this dominant version of Barry before. Julian knows Barry’s hands to be gentle on his skin, but in the wake of their fight, his boyfriend is rough, nipping, biting, scratching. It threatens to blow Julian’s mind because never in a million years did he imagine this side of Barry to be such a turn-on.

‘Fuck, Barry,’ he gasps. Barry practically _growls,_ marking Julian’s neck and shoulder with lovebites. They’re going to be hard to cover up come the next morning, but that’s probably Barry’s intention. Their mouths meet in another messy kiss. Barry’s still got Julian’s wrists slammed against the wall and Julian leaves them there when Barry’s hands move to strip his shirt off. Barry looks surprised. ‘You’re just... gonna stay still for me?’

‘Yes,’ Julian says, ‘Looks like there’s something you want to get out of your system. If this is what you need, then –’

‘You’re amazing,’ Barry interrupts him, ‘Absolutely amazing. Shit, how did I get so lucky?’

Julian laughs. ‘I thought you were looking for angry sex.’

‘Oh, I’m not letting you off the hook, trust me. You had better be naked by the time we get to the bedroom.’ Julian’s eyes darken considerably when he says, ‘ _Yes,_ Mr Allen.’


	3. III.

III.

 

Barry is out for coffee with Cisco and Caitlin and he hasn’t shut up about Julian once.

‘So, Barry,’ Cisco says, ‘Are you just going to leave those two shirts and the one pair of shoes you never wear in the closet at my apartment so we can pretend you’re not living with Julian, or...?’

‘What? I’m not – seriously, Cisco.’

Caitlin smiles when Cisco replies, ‘ _Seriously,_ Barry, when is the last time you slept at my place?’

‘Um... I’m pretty sure it was only the other day.’

‘Falling asleep during a _Torchwood_ marathon doesn’t count.’

Barry throws his hands up in despair. ‘OK fine, I’m probably living with Julian. This is scary stuff, you guys. We’ve only been together for six months.’

‘I know,’ Caitlin says, ‘but you two are really very suited to each other. I say go for it.’

‘Oh god, I’m gonna have to talk about this with him.’

‘Well, if he hasn’t kicked you out by now, I wouldn’t worry.’

‘Thanks a lot, Cisco.’

 

‘Um, Julian, there’s something I need to... talk to you about.’

Julian looks up in surprise. ‘You sound like when you used to ask me out every week.’

Barry laughs nervously. ‘Yeah...’ Julian’s getting worried now. ‘What’s wrong, Barry?’

‘It’s about our, um, living arrangements.’

‘Oh,’ Julian says, ‘Oh. I see. I get it.’

‘You do?’ Barry frowns.

‘Yes. You want to move back out. I understand, we’ve moved too fast.’ Julian looks sad.

‘Move out? No, no, Julian – I want to move _in._ ’

Now Julian is just confused. ‘But Barry, you already live here.’

‘Well, yes, but not officially, I suppose.’

‘You’re paying rent and food, so by officially you mean –’

‘I want to change my address.’ The next moment Julian’s arms are around him.

‘Is that a yes?’ Barry laughs. Julian nods and gives him a kiss.

‘What are you still doing here? You should be at City Hall already.’

 

(Julian swallows his pride and calls his mother. Tells her about work, tells her about Barry. She says he’s too old to play the rebellious gay scientist and he should come home. Julian says _no_ and hangs up.)

 

Julian’s been having trouble sleeping. Sometimes late at night he just gets scared, starts to shake and panics. It’s usually well after midnight when Barry’s been asleep for hours and Julian doesn’t want to wake him, so he just curls up next to his boyfriend and waits for the panic to subside. Then one night, Barry wakes up thirsty and finds Julian crying on the couch. He rushes over to him. ‘Julian? What’s wrong?’ To be honest, Barry’s been expecting this ever since the abduction. ‘I just... I don’t ever feel _safe_ , Barry. Most of the time it’s OK because I have lots of distractions but then this strikes me in the middle of the night and I don’t know what to do.’ Barry wraps Julian up in a hug and soothes him until he calms down enough to come back to bed.

 

The next day at work, Barry broaches the subject of a therapist with Julian. ‘It’s not as scary as it sounds. I went to therapy for years.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, I was pretty messed up after my mother’s death.’ Julian freezes. They practically never talk about Barry’s parents.

‘Of course you were. I’m sorry.’ Barry waves off his apology.

‘I know. My point is that a good therapist has a way of letting you look at situations and find the positive sides even when you think there aren’t any.’

‘I don’t know, Barry. I can’t exactly tell them I was abducted because I’m in love with the Flash.’

‘No, but you can tell them you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Think about it, Julian. Please.’

‘OK,’ he says.

 

It’s two weeks later when Julian comes home from work to find Barry, who had the day off, grilling steaks for dinner. He goes over and wraps his arms around Barry’s waist, nuzzling his shoulder. ‘So, do you have a number for this therapist?’ Barry twirls around in surprise.

‘Seriously?’ Julian nods. ‘I’m so proud of you. I’ll look the number up straight after dinner. It’ll only take me a sec.’

Julian shakes his head fondly. ‘You’re always bragging about your speed, are you aware of that?’

‘Never,’ Barry swears, then disappears for a second and returns with a single red rose that he hands to Julian, who accepts it graciously. ‘Where did you go for that? New York City?’

‘Nah,’ Barry says, ‘NYC would take me five seconds.’

 

Julian begins meeting with Barry’s old therapist Grace every month and while he can’t talk about his boyfriend being a secret superhero, he’s surprised at the amount of things he does talk about. His family, growing up as a public school boy in England, starting a new life at university, then moving to the USA and trying not to look back. His early antagonistic feelings towards Barry and how they went from hating each other’s guts to living together hoping for a happily ever after. Grace listens and explains his own behaviour to him, offering advice and insights into Barry’s personality.

‘Barry and I, we’re both damaged,’ Julian muses one day.

‘We’re all damaged, Julian. But not everybody lets their demons get them down. Barry’s don’t have to win and neither do yours. I think you’ve been handling them pretty well.’

 

(The longer they’re together, the less their demons appear to affect them.)

 

Late in summer, a black cat shows up on the balcony of the flat and refuses to leave. She’s a sweet little thing and while Julian tries to find out who she might belong to, Barry knows from day one that they’ll be keeping her. The animal settles on Barry’s lap immediately after they let her into the flat. ‘She’s not staying,’ Julian says.

‘Oh, she’s staying.’ Barry pets the cat and mutters sweet nothings as she purrs.

‘Damn it, Allen.’

‘Look at her, Julian. What a cutie.’

‘You’re paying for cat food, I mean it.’

‘OK, but you have to give her a name.’

Julian names the cat Aline and it sticks.


	4. IV.

‘You’ve got a pet together? Damn, man. It’s serious,’ Cisco says.

‘They’ve been dating for ten months, of course it’s serious, Cisco,’ Caitlin replies before Barry can. ‘Yes, but a cat is practically starting a family. Before you know it they’ll be adopting kids, Caitlin.’

‘Yeah, no, I don’t see that happening,’ Iris cuts in, ‘Barry never was one for having kids of his own.’

‘Guys, I’m actually right here, would you like me to leave so you can gossip?’ Everyone laughs.

 

(Barry knows his friends all love to see him and Julian happy together. Even Iris is encouraging and Barry can’t help but admire her forgiving spirit.)

 

Barry comes in one Thursday evening and tells Julian they’re taking the weekend off. ‘No work. No Flash duties. We’re going to Star City.’ Julian narrows his eyes. ‘Is this a ploy because you need to go help the Green Arrow with something?’

‘I swear. There’s no agenda. The suit stays here. I just want us to get away for a bit. We can even take the train like normal people.’ Julian laughs. ‘OK, OK, I’d love to go. Do we have the time off?’

‘Yep, Singh agreed, no problem.’ Aline jumps on Julian’s lap and meows indignantly.

‘Who’s going to feed her?’

‘Iris has agreed to come over twice a day. Pack a bag, Julian. I booked the most expensive hotel I could afford.’

‘Felicity’s spare room?’

‘You know me too well.’

 

Knowing Star City has its own team of vigilantes means Barry and Julian can stroll around hand in hand and see the sights without feeling irresponsible. They can eat ice cream by the riverside, laze around in the park, snap selfies in front of a fountain. Barry insists on a visit to a local museum. ‘You’re such a nerd,’ Julian says affectionately as Barry studies an ancient watch. ‘Shut up, you’re just as bad.’

 

Felicity is delighted to meet Julian. ‘You’ve been together for nearly a year and this is the first time Barry brings you over to meet me. That’s just ridiculous, Barry. I thought we were friends. It’s not like it takes you two hours to get here. Wait, he knows, right?’

‘Yes, Felicity, he knows,’ Barry laughs, ‘We live together, for god’s sake. How could he not know?’

‘Actually, I figured it out before we ever went on a date,’ Julian corrects him, ‘You saved me without your suit, remember?’

‘He’s terrible at keeping secrets,’ Felicity confides. Her phone beeps.

‘Shit. That’s – um – Green Arrow. I gotta go, guys. Help yourselves to food, your room is the second door to the left. You know what it’s like, I could be gone all night.’

‘Good luck, Felicity!’ Barry calls as his friend rushes out the door.

‘Did she say she’d be gone all night?’ Julian says after a moment, reaching for Barry’s hand.

‘Why do you ask?’ Barry says with a smile that tells Julian he knows the answer all too well.

‘Let’s go look at our room.’

 

Felicity returns to her apartment much, _much_ earlier than they anticipated, and things get a little awkward when she knocks on their door as they’re tangled up naked in bed.

‘Are you guys okay?’ she calls out, ‘It’s only half past nine, seems a little early to go to sleep.’

‘Yeah um, we’re – shit, _Julian –_ fine,’ Barry manages to say. They can practically hear the penny drop on the other side of the door.

‘ _Oooo,_ ’ Felicity says, ‘Sorry!’

 

When Barry can’t sleep, he gets hungry, so he heads for the kitchen around one AM and finds Felicity there furiously tapping away on her tablet. Barry grabs some cookies and offers them to Felicity. ‘Thanks,’ she says, ‘I’ve been trying to crack this for Oliver, but it’s proving a little hard.’

‘You’re the best hacker in the country, Felicity, you’ll work it out soon enough. Look, about earlier...’

‘Ha!’ Felicity says, ‘Butter me up first, then get to the point. Smart move.’

‘Are you angry that we had sex in your spare room?’

‘I’d really rather not think about it, Barry.’

‘We thought you’d be gone for longer.’

‘So I gather. Listen, it’s fine, I don’t care, I just don’t need the mental image of my friends having sex. What are your thoughts on this?’ She shows him an endless amount of programming language. He speeds through it and points out a few bugs that she’s missed.

‘It should be better now.’

‘Right. Thanks. He’s really cute though, your Julian.’

‘Yeah, a geeky blond. Every superhero needs one.’

Felicity snorts. ‘I thought you hated him.’

‘Sure I did, at first. I kind of wonder where he was before Flashpoint? We might never have met.’

‘Maybe not, but there are lots of ways you could’ve met. Maybe you saved him as the Flash. Or you hooked up when he was drunk. Or he was a friend of a friend and you met at a party. I’m not big on fate or anything but sometimes if someone’s meant to be in your life...’ Felicity shrugs. Barry smiles and wishes her goodnight.

 

Julian stirs in his sleep when Barry gets back to bed and pulls him close.

‘What time is it?’ he mutters. ‘Two AM,’ Barry replies. ‘Then go to sleep, Barry,’ Julian grumbles. Barry laughs and snuggles up with his boyfriend.

 

Barry and Julian head for an open-air swimming pool the next day. It’s warm outside and Felicity’s got them access to a private pool in one of the few buildings still owned by the Queen family. There’s no other way they would have a pool to themselves in this weather so they make the most of it. They float around on air beds, wearing sunglasses and talking lazily. ‘How does Felicity know the mayor’s family?’ Julian asks.

‘She and Oliver used to be engaged.’ While it’s not technically a lie, it still feels weird to Barry because he’s leaving out such a huge chunk of information. But too many people know Oliver’s secret already. He’s as bad as Barry when it comes to that.

‘Oh wow. Friends in high places, huh?’

Barry laughs. ‘I guess.’ Julian rolls off his air bed and approaches Barry on his, then grabs hold of him and they kiss with cold, wet mouths. Barry ends up in the water in the process and Julian’s hands are all over him. ‘Damn, man. You’re never satisfied, are you?’

‘Don’t pretend you mind, Allen,’ Julian whispers hotly.

 

(Julian takes Barry to dinner in Star City and it’s a ridiculously fancy affair. They end up in the nearest pizza parlour to eat a decent amount of food right afterwards. ‘I can’t believe we paid a hundred bucks for that,’ Barry gripes, ‘when this seven-dollar pizza is so much better.’ Julian says this is why he doesn’t want to live the life of a rich heir, and he’s only half-joking.)

 

Julian and Barry spend their Sunday morning in a bookstore, buying more books than they can easily fit into their overnight bag, but they’ll manage. Felicity invites Oliver, Thea, Diggle and Quentin over for lunch and it’s not entirely clear to Julian what connects all these people until he remembers that Felicity’s on Team Arrow. He susses out which one of them it is pretty quickly after that, but he doesn’t mention anything. Secret identities suck quite enough without having boyfriends-of-friends make smartass remarks. He keeps his thoughts to himself until they’re on the train home.

‘It’s Oliver, isn’t it?’ he says to Barry, who throws him a look before replying, ‘You’re too smart for your own good, Julian.’


	5. V.

V.

 

For their one year anniversary Julian gives Barry his own set of bookshelves in the little library he has set up in the spare room. Barry’s books have been piling up on every available surface and while Julian loves books, he loves cleanliness even more. Barry’s thrilled about it and has all his books shelved in alphabetical order within seconds.

 

Barry recreates the exact circumstances of the night they first kissed. Same movie, same drinks, he’d wear the same clothes if he could remember which ones they were. Julian’s eyes are shining when he steps in to relive that first kiss. And when they’re making out on the couch he says, ‘This is when your phone rang and you left me gagging for it,’ and Barry whispers, ‘Not this time. My phone’s off,’ and Julian takes that as an invitation to start stripping his boyfriend’s clothes off.

 

(Julian starts up a scrapbook with all of their pictures in it and leafing through it more than anything else gives him a feel for the life they’re building together. He doesn’t even show it to Barry at first because the photographs seem to render him nostalgic and vulnerable. They remind him of the family photo album and how the last picture of Julian in it is probably from his college graduation six years ago. When Barry does see it, he kisses Julian deeply and says, ‘I love it. I love _you._ ’)

 

Julian signs up for an art class and begins using Barry as a model for his sketches. Barry finds it difficult to keep still but at least he gets to watch Julian chew on his pencils, study his face intently, and erase most of what he draws. Suffice it to say, Julian’s not a natural at this. They have a good laugh when Barry speed-draws his boyfriend in turn and it’s even more terrible than Julian’s attempts. Aline jumps on Barry’s lap and keeps him occupied for ten minutes while Julian grumbles at his sketchpad. ‘Keep taking classes, that would be my advice,’ Barry says eventually.

 

(They bicker about who has to do the dishes and clean the floors. Taking it in turns always brings up discussion so they start doing the work together instead, Barry withholding his speed because it feels like cheating.)

 

Curiosity eventually gets the better of Julian and he asks Barry to take him on a run. Cisco hooks him up with some friction-proof clothes, Barry sweeps him off his feet and they speed off into the night. It’s completely exhilarating – should be impossible – there’s no way Julian’s brain can keep up with everything he’s seeing and feeling right now. They zoom past houses and forests and lakes, the whole world reduced to a blur moving at the speed of sound. Barry’s arms tether him to the ground, but they might as well be flying. Julian’s vaguely aware that he’s laughing and screaming, and he feels Barry’s fingers tightening around his hip in response. It’s over in a matter of seconds, but Julian’s head spins for hours afterwards and he won’t stop talking about it. ‘I’m gonna ask Cisco if I can keep these clothes.’

‘I’m inclined to agree,’ Barry says, ‘because you look gorgeous in black leather.’

 

Sometimes Barry does really stupid things and ends up hurt, like going up against a whole team of metas who obviously trained in working together. They do quite a number on him and when Julian hears about it, he drops everything and rushes to S.T.A.R. labs. Caitlin meets him and tells him that Barry’s OK, healing as they speak. He’s awake when Julian arrives at his bedside and takes his hand.

‘Hi,’ Barry says.

‘Allen, you fucking idiot. Who am I going to marry if you get yourself killed?’

Barry’s eyes widen. ‘You want to marry me?’

Julian blushes and stammers, ‘Well. Um. Not right now, but. Eventually. I suppose.’

Barry smiles. ‘Then, I suppose if you were to ask me, eventually, that I would say yes.’

 

It’s six months later when Julian goes down on one knee and Barry honours his promise.


End file.
